Dumb shit customers part 2: A lesson in pro-nouns

When I say, "you swipe your debit card with the stripe towards you." What does that mean? Apparently, it means that everyone (by everyone, I mean 85% of the customers. . . .approximately) swipes the card with the stripe facing me. It's my fault really, I told them "stripe towards you" and they did just that. Sometimes they even reply "I swipe it with the stripe towards you?" That makes less sense. You understood correctly, the first two uses of the pro-noun 'you' but not the third? You got it right that 'you' are swiping 'your' card but when I use 'you' for the third time you get it all fucked up? Some people even suggest that I had it wrong. They'll say, "oh, stripe towards me. Why didn't you say that?". Well, because if I had said "stripe towards me" that would be incorrect because the stripe is suppose to face. . . . oh fuck my head hurts.

Back to basics. The pro-nouns in the English language are:
I or Me
You
Her
Him
One
Who
Us or We
Them
And if you are from the south in the US, or on the Sopranos, there is also Yous

Today we will focus on 'Me' and 'You'. When someone uses the pro-noun 'me' they are referring to themselves. 'Me' always refers to the speaker. When someone uses the pro-noun 'you', they are referring to the person or people to whom they are speaking. 'You' never refers to the person speaking.

So, when I say swipe your card with the stripe towards you, think "okay, I swipe my card with the stripe towards me." And yes, it is different everywhere you go but I do not get paid enough to give a shit.

- Detective Blinky

This has been a public service announcement from Detective Blinky. Detective Blinky wishes to let everyone know how dumb they are when they are purchasing items at the cashier. This has to be the dumbest part of the day for most people because people can't actually be this dumb all of the time. Detective Blinky use to believe that people couldn't be this dumb period, but most customers have proven that to be wrong.

PS - the views expressed in this commentary do not reflect the views or opinions of Detective Blinky's employer or anyone else. Detective Blinky also wishes to apologize for have made you dumber from having read this. Detective Blinky can't believe anyone reads this.

Detective Blinky can be reached at: detective_blinky@yahoo.ca